do people start a martial art cuzv bullying?

[chloe]

why do people tend to start a martial art?? let me know...Chloe x

[wrath]

Dear All,

[Sorry for the earlier incarnation of this reply, I'd just come back from the pub (a little worse for wear) and thought - as one often does in that place of vodka and sleepiness - it would be a good time to log on.]

Certainly, in my case, I have come to realise - through this very discussion (and it's led me to address certain issues) - that my deepest motive for training is borne out of a need to redress what I see as injustices and to make myself stronger.

The point is: Everybody trains for very different reasons. Some people see it as simply a way to keep fit. Others want to conquer various personal "demons". Yet others want to win trophies. And everyone is entirely justified in their reasoning.

You come to training for yourself, no-one else; whether that is training in the Martial Arts, Aerobics, Gym etc. etc.

The fact is, we train - in whatever fashion - to achieve a greater control over our environs, whether they be personal, physical or spiritual.

I have the deepest respect for everyone who bothers to try and improve themself. Too many people are content with their "little lot". So well done everyone for pushing yourselves.

Whilst out jogging the other night it occurred to me, the only time I ever really take any notice of my body is when I'm pushing my limits. How many people can say the same? How many times have you stood - or stooped! - at the end of a session (particualrly the pressure tests!) and thought "Yes! I am alive! I am living!"

W

[Garth Barnard]

I began traditional martial arts (Judo) in 1981 because my parents wanted me to know how to defend myself. They weren't happy with me learning a striking art because they thought it wouldn't look good in a fight, so they chose Judo for me. I can see my parents point, but they were oh so wrong.

Judo was good for me, I was taught ettiquette and the training was tough. The only way up the ranks was to win fights at tournament style gradings, which I did.

When I moved up to Magdalen College, weighing little more than 6 stone, the bullying started, but I'd be ok, as I knew Judo, right?.......wrong!

What I (later) came to realise is that it's nothing to do with the art itself, it's more to do with Adrenaline Management and Mindset. In the training hall I could throw guys twice my size and tie them up in knots, but when confronted with a bully I just froze. I accepted that I could not fight back and I accepted that a good beating was ok. I even got 'clever' and learnt how to accellerate the agression in the bully and to take a good beating to get things over with. I would even use artifice to appear more beaten and hurt than I really was, I was the perfect victim and good at it too!

I went on to study other matial arts, which did have striking techniques, but the outcome was still the same, I still froze and took a beating. I told no one that I was being bullied, not even my parents.

One day the school bully (not my own personal bully, but the regular school bully) swung for me whilst I stood in a queue for lunch in the main hall and thankfully missed and struck my friend who was stood next to me. My friend dropped to the floor and didn't get up. The bully looked disappointed that he missed the target (me) and continued to walk by. As I helped my friend to his feet I noticed a small jewellers screw-driver sticking out of the side of his neck! I then took him to the first aid office where the event was logged, without question, as a solo accident!!

What winds me up....

(I just had to take a break from writing this as I just experienced an adrenaline dump!)

....is the fact that particular teachers, knew who was bullying who, but did nothing about it. Those particular teachers I will never forgive and they know it. I see one regularly and he won't look me in the eye. I don't blame those specific teachers and I dont' hold them responsible, but they could've helped, but chose to turn a blind eye.

From that point onwards I realised that there is only one person who can sort this out and there is only one way to do it - to fight back! I taught myself the basics of Adrenaline Management, how to conduct myself in a confrontation and the mindset required to win. The next opportunity I had, which was only days later, I very successfully dealt with a bully. With my new found confidence I then successfully dealt with a few others, the last one being the last week of my last year at school.

To this day I can't understand why it took so long for me to work out the problem and to find a solution!

On leaving school I moved on to other arts and eventually TKD, which helped my confidence grow immensely, even though I could see flaws in some of the techniques when used in a 'real go'.

The next thing for me was Doorwork as I felt I could take on the world. Doing the doorwork opened my eyes and I learn artifice, my own passive stance and that pre-emptive strikes are the only way to go. In the first year of working on the door I was told about the writings of Geoff Thompson and read 'Watch my Back', which summed everything up for me. From there on whenever I read any of Geoff's books I could relate to how I got to making my own conclusions (made 5 years prior to Geoff's books) on all aspects of confrontations. Everything Goeff have put into print I had tried and tested and worked out for myself. Though I new all the answers, I didn't know all the questions and Geoff's books have helped immensely with Adrenaline Management in regards to what your body goes through and why.

Today I thank the bullies because they have made me who I am.

Sorry to bore the pants off everyone, but that's why I took up martial arts. If I can help just one person through the nighmare of bullying then my own personal mission would/will be complete.

I've just started reading a book at the moment by Robert Higgs titled What have I ever done to you? ISBN 1 903490 08 1[/B]. I'll let you know what I think of it when I'm done.

Take care,

Garth.

[wrath]

Intersting point about "Bullies" (awful euphemistic term for Sadist):

Most Anti-Bullying policies evolve from the notion that a Bully does so because of Low Self-esteem. They therefore seek to redress this by raising the Bully's sense of Self-worth, in order to put a stop to their unsociable behaviour.

However...

In his book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman cites a number of studies in the United States that have shown that in almost all cases of Bullying, the problem is that the Bully has too great a sense of Self-worth(!); their bullying is fueled by their idea of greatness and a lack of empathic feeling for their victims.

Outside of the schoolroom, this behaviour is called Meglomania - the idea that you are Hugely important and that others do not matter. Probably the most famous Meglomaniac being Germany's very own Adolf Hitler.

How then does Goleman propose Bullies be dealt with?

Increase their understanding of what their victims feel.

Which, brings us back to Garth's (and my own) youthful epiphany that the only way to deal with Bullies is to stand up to them. An old fashioned view, I realise, but really, the only one that works.

Do the Martial Arts help? I've got to say Yes. However, as Garth points out, it is the individual's approach to and use of them that determines their efficacy.

[ben]

i started martial arts cuz i wanted to be bruse lee lol. then at school people took the mick cuz i did it. then i gave up when i was in year 5...... i started agen in year 8 but martial arts has never stoped bullying.

never mind! no 1 wee weees about with me now lol